1's and 0's

Here are a few Do's and Don'ts of Engineering life:

Be alive and active on social networks.

Waste your day playing games, talking nonsense or doing nothing. Start studying only at night, after all the sitcoms are over.

Log in to facebook first. Then only open other tabs.

Develop selective listening skills.

Discover the regular hangouts with seniors. Always be present there.

Have at least one place at college that's known just to your group.

Follow massbunks religiously.

Do not feel bad if you get an A and the one who copies your answer gets an A++.

After getting a KT in first year, cry. After entering second year, look at the first years cry after getting a KT and say, "Overacting!"

Buy easy solutions. Buy text books. Know the reference books' names and authors to tell the external examiner during vivas.

Run to save the last seat during midterm tests Make sure that you're surrounded by 2-3 who have read something.

Well begun is half done. Half done gets c+ if the examiner is attentive.

Call a friend to ask syllabus 1 day before exam.

Ask friends to tell the full form of the subject before its viva.

Group study works only when there are 3 hours left for exam. Before that, it's an # epic fail.

Check the number of pages before starting to read the chapter.

Download like there's no tomorrow. Support piracy.

Talk about everything like you know it. Especially during placements.

Forget lunch/dinner breaks when you're working for a Cultural or Technical fest.

Never skip meals for assignments and studies.

Eat junk food. You have the responsibility to save the rest from it, so finish it from the Earth!

Copy assignments. Write the master copy at least once in four years.

Xerox machine is one of your favourite Engineering miracles. Worship it.

Stay connected with the class on WhatsApp and network groups.

The canteen person should know what you're going to order as it's your regular. A professor must ask you "are you in this class? I've never seen you before. Which lecture?"

Classmates hate teachers' puppies. Professors hate cool/beautiful students. Be none.

Stay neutral. Remember, increasing your tolerance threshold is a part of Engineering,

Do not complain about not maintaining cleanliness. That concept was extinct long ago.

Professors are not supposed to teach you, you have classes for that. They exist so that you'd know how to cover entire introduction chapter in one lecture and still manage to keep students nonplussed.

Lab attendants are Gods in disguise.

Office staff will make it a point to be helpful. In lunch break they possess the powers to make you feel helpless.

If you are a girl, enter the washroom the moment you enter college. Travelling to college even for 5 minutes is harmful for your looks.

Talk shit. Find friends that like the shit you've talked. Never leave them.

If you are a guy, and you find a senior girl attractive, and-
a. if she is single. Do not mess with an unavailable chick.
b. if she's a dropper. They usually talk a lot if you can supply good notes.
c. if she is sane, confirm it.

Creative answers do not impress professors.

Be late. Lie that you missed the bus. Do NOT extend the lie.

The Requirement of Attendance Vs Hotness and Popularity graph is as follows:

Attend college on all the important days: Saaree day, Traditional day, Pink/Blue day.

Either have an impressive handwriting or pull off a clumsy one. Either ways, write a lot.

If you know the answer, write a lot. If you do not know the answer, write a lot.

No need to understand what you write, just write a lot.

First bench is a necessary evil. Trolling professors by asking doubts is best done from first bench.

Texting cannot be written as a hobby in resume.

Parents and professors should be treated as exclusive sets.

What you do, what you should be doing, what your teachers and parents think you are doing should never coincide.